we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
