My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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