will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sobbing to NWA
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
