that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
