Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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