fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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