You're so nebulous sometimes
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
