hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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