I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's never too late to be topless.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
