She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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