Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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