I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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