You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
