Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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