I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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