Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
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