i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
