if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
