Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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