I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
