gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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