you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
