My room smells like vodka and shame
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize