how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
