I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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