So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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