i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
