i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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