i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
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I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
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It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
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