i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize