weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
