Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
