Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
