Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
handjob tips. give me some.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize