Do vagina's smell?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
