Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
