I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
