I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
