i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Come on in and take your pants off
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