i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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