oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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