Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
