you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize