"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
