the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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