So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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