porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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