Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
