3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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