His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
