Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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