Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
