But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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