I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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