Rock
Scissors
Fuck
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
