Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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