I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
