Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
