Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
