If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
