I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
